Proverbs 18:13, NKJV: He who answers a matter before he hears it,
It is folly and shame to him.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” ― Epictetus
That’s a popular, old saying, and I’m assuming many have heard it; however, they probably weren’t listening.
In this post, we’ll reveal how important nonverbal and verbal communication is.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is the practice of preparing to listen, observing what verbal and non-verbal messages are being sent, and then providing appropriate feedback for the sake of showing attentiveness to the message being presented. Active listening is listening on purpose. – Wikipedia
Let’s look at how not implementing active listening can ruin a fictional character named Gerald’s personal and business relationships.
Gerald: The Nonactive Listener
Gerald was a subpar thirty-five-year-old realtor who was a non-listening, arrogant KIA. (That stands for Know It All.)
However, he made an okay living by selling houses because of his charming personality and looks.
Anyway, he was the epitome of Proverbs 18:13 that I mentioned. His conversation went something like this:
“Hi Melissa, and thanks for calling. Now, before we go any further, young lady…”
“Oh, thanks for calling me young, but I’m 73.”
“Wow, your voice fooled me, Ms. Melissa.” He rolled his eyes.
“And please, call me Melissa.”
Gerald smirked and said, “Sure thing.”
“Now, I’m calling you, Gerald, because…”
“You’re calling about the house on Montfort… I bet you love the…”
“No… that’s not why I’m calling Gerald.”
Effective communication is a very important skill that plays a vital role in our professional and personal lives.
While we often see speaking as the primary aspect of communication, listening is equally important, if not more so. In fact, active listening is the foundation of effective communication.
Matthew 11:15, NKJV: He who has ears to hear, let him hear!
The Benefits of Active Listening
Active listening has many benefits and blessings.
First, it helps to build rapport by creating trust and understanding between individuals. Active listening can make someone feel respected and valued.
It promotes effective teamwork. When team members actively listen to one another’s ideas and concerns.
However, that’s when team members excel and become a dynamic team and work toward common goals, but Gerald doesn’t understand that.
“My agency was once booming when I had my business partner. He just up and quit.” Saying I’m arrogant and don’t listen. “The nerve of that guy.” Gerald picked his phone up and slammed it on the desk.
Lastly, when we actively listen to loved ones or associates, we avoid misunderstandings, miscommunication, and a full-scale battle with those individuals.
By giving our full attention to others’ words and non-verbal cues, we are better equipped to respond appropriately and accurately.
Something Gerald never applied to his conversations when talking to prospects and even something simple, like ordering lunch over the phone.
“Mmm.” I think I’ll cheat today and have a double cheeseburger with definitely no nasty mayo.
A few minutes later, Gerald continuously texted his best friend while on the phone with the restaurant employee.
She recited back the order: “That’s a double cheeseburger with mayo and a vanilla milkshake. Will there be anything else?”
Gerald said, “Nope. That should do it. Bye and see you soon.”
As he waited for his food, Gerald stared at his phone. Somehow, he thought that would make a prospect call him, but it didn’t.
“I’m the best! I can’t believe no one is calling me.” This is crazy!
One Hour Later
“Anyway, I might as well eat.” Gerald took a bite of his sandwich and spat it out. He dropped it on the desk and gagged. “I said… no mayo! Were they listening?”
Speaking has its time, but listening should have more time, so effective listening can take place. Through active listening, true understanding occurs.
By recognizing how important listening is during interactions with others, such as colleagues and loved ones, we build relationships and achieve fantastic accomplishments collectively.
When we converse, we should be fully engaged with the speaker, not just hearing their words but understanding what they’re saying and showing empathy.
However, most people focus on what they’re saying next.
The Different Ways We Communicate
Body Language and Nonverbal Cues
“Jennifer… babe. What a surprise,” Gerald said.
However, he got a phone call as his girlfriend stormed into the office. He smiled, but she frowned. Gerald held up his index finger as a gesture to give him a minute.
Jennifer interlocked her arms and glared at Gerald, then paced the floor for fifteen minutes as he remained on the phone.
Jennifer exhaled, spun around, and ran toward the door. Before exiting, she turned toward him and said, “I never want to see you again, Gerald!”
His eyes bulged as he looked up. Gerald lowered the phone from his ear and said, “What did I do? Jennifer, come back!”
When listening to someone, we should rely on more than what’s coming out of a person’s mouth.
For example, nonverbal cues, such as voice tones, facial expressions, and body language, convey someone’s true intentions and emotions.
Vocal inflections or facial expressions help us convey tone and emotions when conversing, and body language plays a significant role as well when interpreting a nonverbal message from someone.
Understanding the full context is essential for effective communication. Without it, misinterpretations and miscommunications can arise.
Therefore, it is crucial to consider all aspects of communication, verbal and nonverbal, when attempting to convey a message accurately.
If you want to learn more about the subject of nonverbal communication, then read the informative book called What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro, a 25-year former FBI special agent.
He is one of the world’s leading experts on nonverbal communication.
Communicating Digitally
“75% of Millennials would rather lose the ability to talk versus text.” – MediaPost.
However, when we write on paper or digitally, the context can go awry, if not written carefully.
Sometimes there are words that get left out that change the meaning of a sentence.
And if not corrected, emotions that were never meant to be triggered, such as anger, happiness, or even sadness, can create issues, and all because of a missing word or words.
Also, without visual context, misunderstandings are more likely to occur when relying solely on written communication.
However, we have videoconferencing and other forms of virtual communication, but we are still limited because most times only the face is viewed and not the full body, which lessens your ability to interpret someone’s message.
Gerald tried several times to call Jennifer, his girlfriend, but he got no answer. So, he texted her.
Why did you leave?
Jennifer: I told you the other day my schedule was tight. We were supposed to have lunch. But of course, you didn’t hear me.
Gerald smiled and sent another text: I think you’re overreacting.
Jennifer: Now, I’m officially done with you! Lose my number!
Gerald: Huh? No!
James 1:19, NKJV: So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
A mistranslated text can end a relationship. Jennifer couldn’t see Gerald’s smile. She only saw words that infuriated her even more. However, sometimes, tone of voice, facial expression, and body language say so much more than a text message.
Conclusion
I hope I did a great job of showing you how active listening plays a crucial role. It can make or break a deal and even end a relationship.
To ensure effective communication, it is important to consider both verbal and nonverbal elements, along with the contextual background surrounding the conversation at hand.
Lastly, the youth need to read children’s books. So, why not give them a Children’s Christian book that will help ages 9-12 build a relationship with God, so they’ll eventually hear his exceptional voice? Order Today!
